so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
