I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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