I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
