Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
