still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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