dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
