Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
