I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Let's get the cat blown out
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
