and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
