I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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