The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
