I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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