I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I hate all girls vehemently.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
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hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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