She said her name was "party"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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