i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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