hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
