just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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