Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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