Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think people are normalizing furries
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
