She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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