I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
