P.S. I can't hear my feet
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
