guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
