i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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