just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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