some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
