I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
