I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize