Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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