Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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