Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
