so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
