so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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