Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Can I color on your dick again?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
