is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i need some magic done to my vagina
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
