just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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