GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
