Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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