just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
God, I missed his penis.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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