I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
