i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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