i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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