I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
