does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
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i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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