I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
