Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
