Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
This house was built for laser tag.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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