im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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