The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
