I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
