dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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