Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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