just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
