okay pat passed out under dana's car
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
