I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I enjoy the company of your penis
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize