but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize