She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
